the more boys i meet . . . the more i love my dog.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men are idiots. {Ok, let's be honest, I say this just about every day} I've had plenty of moronic encounters with men in the past few months, but none of them were terribly entertaining and some were downright depressing, until tonight. I have a winner for you, folks! All the single ladies, gather 'round. You will want to fight me for this guy. First off, let's rewind a few weeks.

So three or four weeks ago I went to concert with The Vibrant Sound at Provo Town Square with Becky and some girls. After the concert we continued to a house party. I had never been to such a party, and if we can have another honest moment I will admit that I was having feelings of losing my youth. I needed to do something fun and crazy for once! The party was packed and wicked lame, and we were standing in the back yard talking about leaving when a young man approached us. There was a bit of small talk and as we exchanged names I told him that it didn't really matter because I couldn't see his face so I wouldn't recognize him if I saw him again. He replied with something like, "Well, I'm very attractive {handsome?}."  I don't recall the lead-in, but a couple minutes later he handed me his phone and said he would "let" me put my number in. {Pause. "LET" me?? Seriously? Oh yes, I was DYING to put my number in your phone. THANKYOUTHANKYOU!} I wanted to say something along the lines of a straight-up "get over yourself" but I put my phone number in anyway. He texted me after that party and then a couple weeks ago about going to another party. I didn't respond to that one. Fast forward to tonight.

Ok, so Becky is out of town and I'm alone in the apartment for almost two weeks. My life is boring, so I was home tonight watching some Grey's Anatomy and studying for my anatomy lab final. Yay! At approximately 10:30 I got a text from this character {"Hi"} and I responded {"Hello"}. It was probably dumb to respond, but I was bored, and if I hadn't responded I wouldn't have gotten this GEM of a story! There were a few chatty texts {"Do u remember you I am" -He used "u" & didn't use a question mark, yuck} and he told me he was at another party {"I'd tell u to come to the party I'm at right now but it's way boring"}, at which point I told him that I actually don't really go to random parties. He said he was probably too much of a "partier" for me and I asked if he just goes around to parties getting random girls' phone numbers. This is where it gets good. Prepare yourselves.

"Yes. I make out w a different girl everynight" {*every night}

I responded, "You have got to be kidding me."
This was followed by the real winning text of the night:

"You can be #1,647 haha"
Response: "Gross. Nice try, pal."

Seriously?! Seriously!! {Grey's Anatomy? Anyone?}
This guy actually has an ego the size of Russia.

So anyway, this is exhibit #1,647 of why men are idiots. Nobody would expect a strange man from a house party to be a nice guy, but still. Attempted booty call? I don't think so. I honestly don't know how anyone ever gets married. I'm surrounded by morons!

Disclaimer: I fully understand that not ALL men are mean or stupid and I don't actually regard the entire gender with disgust, but it's much easier to say "men are idiots" than to give a list of all the individual dopes I have interacted with this year.