An average person can be extraordinary at this. But if you don't have any guts, if you don't have any try, you'd be damn lucky to be ordinary.
- Buck Brannaman {from the movie, Buck}
I've never considered myself an especially gutsy person. I'm a worrier. I think I was born a public health major because when Dr. Cole taught that public health is about RISK REDUCTION those two words spoke to my soul. I am all about risk reduction. I guess it's also interesting how we are all so different and we all need guts for different things in our lives. For me, going on a trip by myself doesn't seem like a big deal, but I sure have to gather a lot of courage to go to activities in my new ward by myself and try to meet new people. Anyway, I've done some things in the last year or two that have required just a crazy amount of guts and I'm glad that I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone.
This quote I shared from Buck Brannaman is talking about riding horses, but it totally applies to life in general. {I love it because I think just about everything related to horses applies to life in general.} I've been thinking about this a lot lately. About being brave. Anybody can have an extraordinary life, but you have to have guts. You have to really try. You have to have the nerve to do things that scare the crap out of you.
Coming up against things that are scary sure makes you stop to think about who you are and what you want, and what you're willing to do to get where you want to be.
So I'm getting ready to move across the country to Virginia to start PA school in January. I have to admit, thinking about that pretty much scares the living daylights out of me. But it's really exciting. These are strange feelings I'm having, I tell you! When I got my acceptance email my automatic reaction was sheer panic. Truthfully. It probably should be joy or excitement, but I felt panic. I'm comforted to have talked to others who felt the same way. {I am not crazy! Phew!} I have been talking and thinking about PA school for so long, but it has been so hypothetical. Like, yeah someday in the future, down the road, when I'm older and have my life together . . . someday I'm going to go to PA school somewhere. Well, folks. That someday has come and it's only about five months away and that somewhere is Eastern Virginia Medical School. Luckily, I have mostly overcome the panic. I'm looking for apartments in Virginia Beach, and that is exciting. It's going to be a fun place to live, if I ever have time for fun! I started looking at student loans, expenses, etc. last night, which created a new kind of terror, but it'll work out. I imagine this panic is a normal response when anyone who has always enjoyed some level of financial security enters into a situation of massive debt.
I was discussing my apprehension about this move to VA with a friend, and came to this major conclusion about my fears: It's a big challenge to give up easy for something really hard. Right now my life is a breeze. I'm in Provo; I like my job, my apartment, my ward; I have friends and family close by. Things are easy. Moving to Virginia will probably be lonely at times. It's going to be different, and it's going to be hard. But it will probably be awesome! So yes, it's hard to trade easy and comfortable for hard and different. It's worth it, though. Isn't it always worth it to push yourself to do more?
The point of all this is that if you want your life to be extraordinary you have to have some guts. I'm not saying that everyone should move across the country and rack up tons of debt going to graduate school. What I mean to say is that most of the things that make life beautiful are at least a little scary. Things like falling in love and getting married, or taking a new job, or becoming a mother, or learning a new skill. And having the guts to face those fears is what allows us to create extraordinary lives. When I look at the people around me, I'm impressed with the guts that they have. I'm pretty lucky for all the encouragement I get from my friends and the examples they set for me. And I'm pretty lucky that they don't all think I'm a big fat baby when I get panicky.
Lately I feel a lot like this:
But I'm trying to be more like this:
So you guys, I don't feel very brave or very gutsy {probably because I worry so much}, but I'm working on it. Which brings me to another quote. One of my favorites:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
4 comments:
Like x 1000. You'll do great, and I promise, everything will work out. :)
Hey thanks for this. I really needed to hear it today.
Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life--well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder: do I do it because I like it, or because I am afraid? So much of what I see reminds me of what I read in a book, but shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer, I just want to send this question out into the cosmic void.
So goodnight, dear void.
It is not the worst idea to be pushed out from the ordinary way of life! In this way you may look at different aspects of life differently! It entails courage and unlimited mind)
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