early-life crisis

Due to the fact that:

1. I added a class and my schedule for fall now looks like this (18 credits):

2. I have virtually no idea what the heck I am actually going to do with my life and I have far too many things to deal with in the upcoming year

3. I really don't want to deal with men/dating/relationships ever again, and I am questioning all this business about true love and stuff that they teach us about practically from infancy

4. I've gained like 8 pounds this summer

5. I went to see Eat Pray Love today

. . . 

I might be on the verge of what my cousin has termed an "early-life crisis."

This summer I have really been trying to just go with the flow, roll with punches, not stress out so much about life and just see where it takes me. Apparently, this is not a mantra that works very well with my sort of brain. Darn. 

So, I am pondering several quotes from Eat Pray Love.

"If you could clear out all that space in your mind . . . you'd have a doorway, and you know what the universe would do? Rush in. Everything else will take care of itself."

"You don't need a man, you need a champion." 

{I have dreadful taste in men, fyi}

"You want to get to the castle, you got to swim the moat."

In the movie they are talking about how cities or people have a word that can describe them. She is sort of searching for her word throughout the movie. At first she says her word is "writer" and her friend says  that's what she does, not who she is. I wonder what my word would be. Do you know what your word would be?

Anyway, here I am, trying to fend off this early-life crisis and stop worrying and thinking so much about everything. Life is hard and messy, but it is also beautiful and exhilarating. I'm trying to learn that it's okay to make mistakes and that I don't have to have everything figured out and under control all the time. I must admit I had no idea what a journey I would be starting when I graduated from high school and went to college. When I was 17 I thought I knew who I was and I had this idea of how my life was going to be. Now I'm 21; I'm still trying to figure out who I really am and where I'm going.
Everything will take care of itself.

Se la vie, right? 

Such is life. 

The key is finding peace in the uncertainty of life and having faith that God is guiding you.

I'm working on that.