mr. nasty and the weepy ice cream eater

If my memory of The Social Network serves me correctly, Mark Zuckerberg created the precursor to Facebook, Facemash, following his break-up with that one girl who he trashed on his blog. In the movie, which may or may not show us what really happened, a long series of events led to the creation of Facebook. My personal opinion {because, naturally, I know what actually happened} is that Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook so that he could post pictures of his new girlfriend with cute little emoticons all over his profile, thereby torturing his ex-gf, who would have otherwise moved on and been quite happy.

I'm know I am not alone in feeling that Facebook may be one of the most destructive things to happen to our generation. Sure, we can praise the ability to stay connected with people and whatever else it is that we Facebook addicts use as justification. But let's be honest, Facebook is used equally for stalking people (in my experience, this stalking frequently includes the current girlfriends of our exes as well as the exes of our current boyfriends). The stalking leads to comparison and frequently to wallowing. And isn't comparison a huge part of what people are doing on Facebook? When I look at different profiles, or timelines, or whatever, it seems like the objective is generally to make oneself appear prettier, or smarter, or more popular, or funnier, or more sad, or more politically knowledgeable, or as though one's life is more epically kick-ass than anyone else's. Can I get a witness? Seriously! Theodore Roosevelt taught us that "comparison is the thief of joy." If I didn't believe this before, nearly six years as part of the Social Network have convinced me of this truth.

Nightshift-induced insomnia and a traumatic breakup, coupled with the increased access to Facebook I have on my smartphone {I just deleted the FB app tonight} have led to far too many nights of eating ice cream out of the carton and listening to Miranda Lambert, Ingrid, and Kate Nash. The all-time lows have come when I have fallen low enough to listen to Taylor Swift songs, by choice.

Facebook brings out the worst in me. I don't think I'm a crazy ex-girlfriend {which is a Miranda Lambert song, btw} by any means, but holy cow! The fact that I think quite highly of myself while at the same time being susceptible to irrational insecurities at the drop of a hat {or a photo on Facebook} creates an interesting double personality when I log onto the FB. Unfortunately, both of these personalities are dreadful people. The first is the aforementioned weepy ice cream eater. The second tries to counter these feelings by being critical, which we can all agree is a less-than-attractive trait. "Hello, it's Mr. Nasty." This personality makes me have thoughts along these lines:

This is actually among my favorite ecards of all time because it so accurately expresses my feelings, and I find it hilarious. I know I need to work on being less negative, but when that negativity is directed at finding all the flaws in the new girlfriend, having thoughts like this is my unfortunate coping mechanism. Sadly, it's all I've got. {But seriously, this made you laugh right?}

Even the Facebook positives, like being able to keep in touch with old friends to know about babies and weddings and school and fun things can be discouraging. See the next ecard, which is a combination of meanness, comparison, and sadness. 

This one really makes me laugh too, but seriously. It's lucky that I don't feel discouraged about my lack of marriage and babies, because if this were a problem for me my current Facebook newsfeed would send me spiraling into depression. 

Anyway, this is just to say that it is now 2:30 a.m. and I am suffering from another night of nightshift-induced insomnia, and that I have decided to decrease my time on Facebook and instead do more useful things, like perhaps have an actual conversation with one of those friends I keep up with through Facebook only. I'm going to work on more healthy use of technology, although I won't be cutting back on my Instagram use because I love it and it makes me happy. 

In other news, I checked out Mindy Kaling's book from the library today and started reading it while riding the stationary bike at 24 hour fitness. Riding that bike is the worst exercise I ever get at the gym, but I do it when I want to read more than I actually want to exercise, which is most of the time. I see it as a compromise because at least it's better than reading while laying in bed. So tonight in the midst of the super crowded gym that happens only in January, there was me doing some mediocre cardio and laughing out loud while reading this book, and therefore having one of my favorite workouts ever.