Thursday, February 21, 2013

sometimes

This is the view of my refrigerator right now, and it makes me pretty darn happy.  

The top left is a picture that Penny drew of herself and me as princesses, and next to that is a portrait of me, drawn by Lily. Ruby drew a picture of Trav and me, but he got custody of that one and I have this cute one of some girls. As you can see, Penny pretty much only draws girls with crowns. 

I am so enjoying my little gallery of pictures given to me by Travis's nieces. This reminds me that one of my core beliefs is that if a child gives you a picture, you must put that picture on you refrigerator. Seriously. If this photo does not bring a smile to your face, I'm not sure if we can be friends anymore. 


I've had a blast hanging out with T's nieces lately. I have certainly missed having awesome kids to play with, and I've seriously missed having a cute baby to play with since Kelsey moved. I love watching all of my friends and cousins with their little munchkins, and I was recently remembering a time when my mom told me that the happiest time of her life was when we were all little, which got me thinking about how awesome moms are.

So even though I am loving my life right now and all the adventures I'm having, sometimes I see darling babies and spunky little girls and I am just so excited to be a mom. It will probably be a good long while before it happens, but I am super psyched for that future phase of my life, and I'm glad I have friends that I get to watch be awesome moms in the meantime. 

And also, a shout out to my mom, who is the coolest mom I know. I would be a very different person if she were not my mother, and I'm so happy that I get to talk to her pretty much every day. 





Disclaimer: I can already feel the speculation that is bound to happen due to the reference to the boyfriend and motherhood in the same post. So I feel I should say: no, marriage is not anywhere in the near future. And, no, we haven't even talked about it.  

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

tunes for tuesday

Songs I'm loving this week:

No Way by The Naked and Famous

  • This song is a little bit melancholy and beautiful. It gets really amazing around the minute mark. This is probably my favorite song to listen to while skiing and my #1 on this list. Can't get enough.

Thin Line feat Buffalo Madonna by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

  • Pretty obsessed with Macklemore lately. And I just love his rapping in this song. 

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov

  • Heartbeak, you know, drives a big black car. 

Disparate Youth by Santigold

  • Mostly I love it when the guitar comes in, probably because T always plays some air guitar. 

Heart Skipped A Beat by The XX

  • iTunes description for this album: "You might as well tack another X onto the title of The XX's buzz-building debut. After all, it's essentially makeout music for cool kids . . . " Awesome. 

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

  • Throwback! This song always makes me smile. It also always makes me think of the part in The Holiday when Cameron Diaz sings it, which I love. 


Thursday, January 10, 2013

2012 in pictures


 I started working at Utah Valley. I love my job. 

We went sledding at Soldier Hollow with the ward.

Becky and I wore a lot of coordinating outfits.

We watched General Conference at the Records' house.

I got finals ice cream with Heather and Kelsey {and baby G!}


We took a road trip to Portand to see Coldplay!

It was so awesome. Look at those lights!

We ate a crazy amount of french fries. 

I fell in love with Powell's Books. 

We had so much fun. And also we watched so much Downton Abbey.

We went to a Bees game for Becky's birthday. The fireworks were so great. 

And we went to Gourmandise for my birthday dinner. Deliciousness!

I spent a lot of time with the Records.

Maddi and I {and Rick} took a reunion tour of BYU. 

I bummed around Provo with Becky. 
I did a bit of rock climbing with Travis. 

I goofed around with my sister.

I went to a couple Book on Tape Worm concerts with Travis. 

I became a third generation college graduate!

I went to a Rockies game with my folks. 

I rode a lot of horses. 

Becky and I moved out of student housing and got a kind of big girl condo. 

Parker got home from his mission in Brazil!


 We anxiously awaited election results and had a fun party. And then Obama won.

 I visited Washington DC and had a splendid time. 


I was lucky to spend time with my great friends and family who live there. 
That's my cousin Lyndsee and me at the White House. 

We took some family pictures on Thanksgiving at my grandma's house. We're pretty cute. 
Becky and I went to see the Killers and Tegan & Sara. It was such a blast!

Becky and I had a Christmas party. We've all been friends for five years! Crazy. 

Lastly, I worked. A lot. And was always tired. 
I spent New Years Eve at work, in fact. 
Happy 2013, folks!


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

mr. nasty and the weepy ice cream eater


If my memory of The Social Network serves me correctly, Mark Zuckerberg created the precursor to Facebook, Facemash, following his break-up with that one girl who he trashed on his blog. In the movie, which may or may not show us what really happened, a long series of events led to the creation of Facebook. My personal opinion {because, naturally, I know what actually happened} is that Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook so that he could post pictures of his new girlfriend with cute little emoticons all over his profile, thereby torturing his ex-gf, who would have otherwise moved on and been quite happy.

I'm know I am not alone in feeling that Facebook may be one of the most destructive things to happen to our generation. Sure, we can praise the ability to stay connected with people and whatever else it is that we Facebook addicts use as justification. But let's be honest, Facebook is used equally for stalking people (in my experience, this stalking frequently includes the current girlfriends of our exes as well as the exes of our current boyfriends). The stalking leads to comparison and frequently to wallowing. And isn't comparison a huge part of what people are doing on Facebook? When I look at different profiles, or timelines, or whatever, it seems like the objective is generally to make oneself appear prettier, or smarter, or more popular, or funnier, or more sad, or more politically knowledgeable, or as though one's life is more epically kick-ass than anyone else's. Can I get a witness? Seriously! Theodore Roosevelt taught us that "comparison is the thief of joy." If I didn't believe this before, nearly six years as part of the Social Network have convinced me of this truth.

Nightshift-induced insomnia and a traumatic breakup, coupled with the increased access to Facebook I have on my smartphone {I just deleted the FB app tonight} have led to far too many nights of eating ice cream out of the carton and listening to Miranda Lambert, Ingrid, and Kate Nash. The all-time lows have come when I have fallen low enough to listen to Taylor Swift songs, by choice.

Facebook brings out the worst in me. I don't think I'm a crazy ex-girlfriend {which is a Miranda Lambert song, btw} by any means, but holy cow! The fact that I think quite highly of myself while at the same time being susceptible to irrational insecurities at the drop of a hat {or a photo on Facebook} creates an interesting double personality when I log onto the FB. Unfortunately, both of these personalities are dreadful people. The first is the aforementioned weepy ice cream eater. The second tries to counter these feelings by being critical, which we can all agree is a less-than-attractive trait. "Hello, it's Mr. Nasty." This personality makes me have thoughts along these lines:

This is actually among my favorite ecards of all time because it so accurately expresses my feelings, and I find it hilarious. I know I need to work on being less negative, but when that negativity is directed at finding all the flaws in the new girlfriend, having thoughts like this is my unfortunate coping mechanism. Sadly, it's all I've got. {But seriously, this made you laugh right?}

Even the Facebook positives, like being able to keep in touch with old friends to know about babies and weddings and school and fun things can be discouraging. See the next ecard, which is a combination of meanness, comparison, and sadness. 
This one really makes me laugh too, but seriously. It's lucky that I don't feel discouraged about my lack of marriage and babies, because if this were a problem for me my current Facebook newsfeed would send me spiraling into depression. 

Anyway, this is just to say that it is now 2:30 a.m. and I am suffering from another night of nightshift-induced insomnia, and that I have decided to decrease my time on Facebook and instead do more useful things, like perhaps have an actual conversation with one of those friends I keep up with through Facebook only. I'm going to work on more healthy use of technology, although I won't be cutting back on my Instagram use because I love it and it makes me happy. 





In other news, I checked out Mindy Kaling's book from the library today and started reading it while riding the stationary bike at 24 hour fitness. Riding that bike is the worst exercise I ever get at the gym, but I do it when I want to read more than I actually want to exercise, which is most of the time. I see it as a compromise because at least it's better than reading while laying in bed. So tonight in the midst of the super crowded gym that happens only in January, there was me doing some mediocre cardio and laughing out loud while reading this book, and therefore having one of my favorite workouts ever.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

new year wishes

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art-- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

... I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

... Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

- Neil Gaiman



I must say that 2012 was my worst year yet, but I am hopeful about 2013. I have some big plans for this year. I expect it will be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. It is also sure to be full of mistakes and big changes and things that scare me. But I hope that I will be brave. I hope that I will find happiness in small things and live a life full of gratitude and love. I hope that I will have fun and be goofy and laugh until my stomach hurts and be fully myself.

As much as I sometimes want to have an easy year after this horrible one, I guess I learn most from doing hard things and stepping up when things are scary. So this year along with the magic and adventure, I hope that I will be challenged, and I hope I surprise myself.



*Happily, I get to kiss someone who thinks I'm wonderful within the next 24 hours.*