mouthwash

Have you noticed how different your day is depending on what music you listen to?

I have times when I may be a bit too addicted to my ipod, but I really don't know what I would do without music. 

Some days I want to "turn on those sad songs" and wallow in whatever issue is troubling me. I think there's value in wallowing, taking a day or two just to be sad, but you have to ditch the sad songs at some point and move on.

I'm also a big fan of the girl power anthem. I pretty much can't get enough of girl power in any form, so in music it is especially fabulous. 

Love songs are also cute and nice at times, but must be used sparingly while you are single or they have the potential to drive you to listen to sad songs. 

Pick-me-up type songs are another one of my favorites. I love a good song that lets you just dance it out. 

I was thinking today as I walked to class jamming to my tunes how much music changes my day.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning, wondering how I am ever going to survive this semester.

You should know, I am a big fan of Kate Nash and her songs are frequent pick-me-ups for me. As I was walking to campus, Kate Nash's song Mouthwash came up on my ipod. I immediately felt a little more spring in my step. I bobbed my head a little as I walked and felt a sudden surge of confidence. I went from feeling very inadequate to feeling just a little bit maybe invincible. 

This is my face
Covered in freckles
With the occasional spot
And some veins

This is my body
Covered in skin
And not all of it
You can see

And, this, is my mind
It goes over and over
The same old lines

And, this, is my brain
It's torturous analytical thoughts
Make me go insane

And I use mouthwash
Sometimes I floss
I got a family
And I drink cups of tea

I've got nostalgic pavements
I've got familiar faces
I've got a mixed-up memory
And I've got favourite places

And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night
And I hope everything's gonna be alright

This is my face
I've got a thousand opinions
And not the time to explain

And this is my body
And no matter how you try and disable it
Yes I'll still be here

And, this, is my mind
And although you try to infringe
You cannot confine

And, this, is my brain
And even if you try and hold me back
There's nothing that you can gain

'Cause I use mouthwash
Sometimes I floss
I've got a family
And I drink cups of tea

I've got nostalgic pavements
I've got familiar faces
I've got a mixed-up memory
And I've got favourite places

And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night
And I hope everything's gonna be alright
Oh oh oh oh oh oh

I'm not sure what it was about this song that made me feel so ready to tackle the day, but it did. I love how music can change your attitudes and feelings. It kind of made me realize how much I need to consider the music I listen to and choose music that helps me feel better and happier. 

elder sessions

My brother, Parker, went into the MTC today.
He is headed to the Brazil Teresina Mission.
Since his visa didn't come through he had to come to Provo instead of heading to the MTC in Sao Paulo, Brazil. He wasn't so happy about coming to Provo, but I'm glad I got to see him again! I also informed him that I wouldn't be able to send him cupcakes and brownies if he were in Sao Paulo!

My mom and Parker drove over on Monday and we had lots of fun. On Monday night I drove up to Bountiful and had dinner at my grandma's house with family.

Yesterday we had to have one last lunch at J Dawgs.

We went to India Palace in Provo for dinner. 

Indian food definitely isn't mom's favorite, but Parker loves it and India Palace is the best.

Today I had lunch at Zupas with Parker, Mom, and Grandma before taking P man to the MTC.

There he is, walking away with his bags. 

It was such a fast drop off, and what a strange feeling!

Here is Parker outside the Denver Temple. 

My little brother is all grown up!

He's the best guy ever and I know he will be a great missionary!

audrey

shell

So tonight, due to several sources of stress and anxiety in my life, I was feeling {as I have felt before} that I would really really like to have a shell. It could maybe be sort of like the lamp from I Dream of Jeannie and I would be tiny inside a plushly decorated shell. 
Then, I was chatting on facebook with my friend about the potential benefits of having a shell.

1. {Most importantly} When you have a shell you can curl up inside it and hide from mean or scary things, like a turtle does. Sometimes I really feel like I want to hide from the world.
2. If you're like a hermit crab your shell is your home and then you don't have to worry about packing all your stuff when you move. Plus, you can have a fun, pretty shell!

My friend added another one:

3. "And you wouldn't have to wear clothes. 

      or date . . . cause no one dates girls who don't wear clothes.

      except perverts."

hahahaha!! This might be my favorite. So funny.

I must say it definitely brightened my day, and increased my desire to get myself a shell!

early-life crisis

Due to the fact that:

1. I added a class and my schedule for fall now looks like this (18 credits):

2. I have virtually no idea what the heck I am actually going to do with my life and I have far too many things to deal with in the upcoming year

3. I really don't want to deal with men/dating/relationships ever again, and I am questioning all this business about true love and stuff that they teach us about practically from infancy

4. I've gained like 8 pounds this summer

5. I went to see Eat Pray Love today

. . . 

I might be on the verge of what my cousin has termed an "early-life crisis."

This summer I have really been trying to just go with the flow, roll with punches, not stress out so much about life and just see where it takes me. Apparently, this is not a mantra that works very well with my sort of brain. Darn. 

So, I am pondering several quotes from Eat Pray Love.

"If you could clear out all that space in your mind . . . you'd have a doorway, and you know what the universe would do? Rush in. Everything else will take care of itself."

"You don't need a man, you need a champion." 

{I have dreadful taste in men, fyi}

"You want to get to the castle, you got to swim the moat."

In the movie they are talking about how cities or people have a word that can describe them. She is sort of searching for her word throughout the movie. At first she says her word is "writer" and her friend says  that's what she does, not who she is. I wonder what my word would be. Do you know what your word would be?

Anyway, here I am, trying to fend off this early-life crisis and stop worrying and thinking so much about everything. Life is hard and messy, but it is also beautiful and exhilarating. I'm trying to learn that it's okay to make mistakes and that I don't have to have everything figured out and under control all the time. I must admit I had no idea what a journey I would be starting when I graduated from high school and went to college. When I was 17 I thought I knew who I was and I had this idea of how my life was going to be. Now I'm 21; I'm still trying to figure out who I really am and where I'm going.
Everything will take care of itself.

Se la vie, right? 

Such is life. 

The key is finding peace in the uncertainty of life and having faith that God is guiding you.

I'm working on that.